one .. morning

sitting in fron of the screen with cold air caressing your bare feet and hot coffee

and a picture you smile when looking at does not always help to start the line

though, after the first letter (s) the others may seem to find their way out faster

what you harbour in your chest is the matter you need to somehow put out there

for looking at a picture that makes you smile only intensifies the feeling and so not

being able to share it (standing at the window shouting to the hotel receptionist

on smoke break would not be much of a share-experience) you need to figure out

a way to

ah, that's it. you seemed tohave figured out a whole lot of things. about you. about him.

and now it really really fits together in your brain.

and the word of 'athena' (see battlestar galactica) ring in your head:

you pick your side and stick to it.

well. you did pick a side. and though the odds were slightly against it working

you did manage to root out most of the nasty feelings and give space for trust and love

and a future (now that'd scare him, this big word, he would sush me up and order me

to enjoy the moment instead of heading off to this direction for there is no need, sieze the day

and so on) i have a future and we are in it together. and more importantly we have a present

and we are very very present in it.

and Buckman's words float in and i remember that i should: dream big, lift others and smile.

and i do:)

/click on the headline to watch video/

m-oods

she's been there but never done that

in her case it was never the ring

but her hands in his

and ugly words floating out of his mouth

and still now what ugly pain

making her almost unable to move

and an other hand

this time reliable reaching out for her

until at night in the blur of her drowsiness 

she forgets about it all

how strange the human psyche that in moments least expected

in burps up the weirdest pains fragments of memories long asleep

silenced but not dead coming to life to haunt and torture with glorious

and grotesque expressions on their faces

but you know what. i laughed at them the next day

and awoke without remorse and cleaned their bloody

remaining off the floor where i have slaughtered them.