closed

closed doors

don't reveal hidden dreams

barred doors

only keep our worst fears

...

but unlike Vetinary,

she sat in a prison she didn't build

to her the bars were real

the locks were fear

...

she looked at the pickaxe

sat down and cried

...

she only kept her worst fears

behind barred door

she only revealed her dreams

to those who opened her doors

he was in, he saw it all

than grabbed the pickaxe

and let the fears out

all those about fears about

her dreams not coming true

or not being magic in his eyes.

the ring

was not That ring,

no magic power, hidden evil driving you crazy

though you surely wanted the ring

the ring of security and a magic power

the sureness may bring to the person who has it on

his hand...or was it her hand...

her hand had a ring

but the magic, was not in the ring

neither could it be in a ring, not in any,

not in one

the magic was in the whisper

of his voice

heavy with happiness as he leaned

close and whispered

'ti amo ti amo ti amo'

as if her presence, her sheer existence

was the only thing that mattered

on that island, laying on the grass

but it could have been the seashore

a hilltop

a tiny church

a garden

any place where she could just let go

let go completely and breath in him,

his kisses, his love

she sofness of the grass/sand/wood/flowerpetals

under her fingertips

reaching out to touch a fragment of the

reality

letting go of it and pushing of after 5 years of holding

back, letting go

and embracing the present.

mikor...(when?)...quando

(to be read while listening to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkkfmLwKhpU)

amazing song, now that i have translated it, amazing over and underlying lyrics

...

mikor...

most segít a sírásban

de az álom csak nem jön

nem cserélem a lelkem

ma hátha elköszön

eternity lasts a day less today

but it still is to long. and it suffocates me. in here.

switch

she has stumbled upon it seemingly by accident

it was hidden under the fourth leg of the chair

and when she thought she has had enough

to risk pushing the chair over

- and she didn't really manage

for he was sitting on it very

determined to stay seated -

that one leg tumbled over and

under the fourth leg of the chair it was hidden

seemingly by accident she has stumbled upon it

thresholds

.there is only so much a soul can wait.

(and put her dreams between brackets)

((only to SHOUT SO LOUD that the brackets would fall))

(((but the only grey thiker)))

.this is a trap.

(((her ashen face washed with uncried tears)))

(((she hit the wall

' . ,

)

.

;

even if it meant

.risking to destroy all she had hoped for.

???

Locaha

Locaha* came came slowly creeping out of the darkness

his black shadow covering the walls of the little white room.

The old man lay still. I tricked him 4 times -

he thought to himself -but he will get me at last.

His soul was tired. I have seen the sun set over

the hills, I have seen my kids rise, I have seen their kids shine,

I have seen the newborn, she had strength in her.

My soul will live in them, he thought.

Locaha spread his wings and whispered into his ears.

His lips moved but the words came out all tangled up.

You may take my lips, Locaha, but you will not take my words

- he thought. I will speak with my eyes. He opened them.

There was light, and a hand was gently stroking his...

...the ghostgirl stood motionless. She was strong, but even

she could not chase Locaha away this time.

I could make it easier, though - she thought.

I have to get into his soul and tell him he shall

not fight any more. I shall take his soul and hope to

give it to a newborn that will grow under my heart.

She closed her eyes, and a hand was gently holding hers...

To my grandpa, whom I will always miss and keep in my heart.

*For reference see: Terry Pratchett: Nation

(a moving novel of change, rite of passage, strength

and our ability to build a new life -

also highly recommended for all who deal with post traumatic stress)

rushing

(read with music in the bacground-click on title)

.

.

.

blood rushed though her veins bubbling

like boiling water over the side of the kettle

her biggest fear was nearing the surface

and came out of his mouth

and there was silence

her heart stopped for a moment

there was no movement

no time no place

only nothingness

her life ended for a moment

and then there was movement

arms wrapping themselves around her

her head digging its place

tears rolling

and there was noise

like that of a baby taking her first breath

it came out of her mouth

her biggest fear was covering the floor

like water out of an upset kettle

blood rushed through her veins

and she was ready to fight for a new life...

.

.

.

all summed up when looking at: http://dianevarner.com/index.php?showimage=193