you never in this bed

you never in this bed lay alone

you never in this bed experience the weight of the dark heavy on your chest

you never awake in this room alone

you never have to stay to hold the cieling feeling dizzy in the height of it all

you never have to expand so much that you alone would fill the space of two

or shrink so much in size that you could walk unnoticed between crowds of strangers 

everybody stares in the other way

and yet it is here

in this room

under this black and white weight

under these blinking stars that i weigh up it all

(alone).

we still dont...

it all stops for a second and she wipes her face (it is unclear whether it is tears or sweat or else that made it wet) and she stops too
she wants to stop thinking she thinks as she hears a sharp whistling noise and there she goes again
she is on that bloody roller-coaster throwing her up and down tossing her body she falls through somethings dark and thick it is unpleasent and sticks to her skin she is cowered with this darkish strangeness it has a sweet smell and a soft touch but umh, what is it doing on her covering

she feels invisible the machine stops she is on a peak, trebling, doesnt dare to move, she is bound to fall, god, she thinks, WHY did i get on at the first place - but wheeee, there is goes again her hair is flying, someone grabs her hand

she awakes in pain, a pain of her dream, looks around, her baby sleeps in the cradle, coffee is being made, she hears the noises from the kitchen, a city murmurs somewhere far off, she rests her eyes on the chest of the baby, and falls back asleep.