circles

circles.

we often want to run back to some start to restart

as if in our scienticif world

as if we were like the laptop i use to lay out this feeling

THESE feelings mixed wqith thoughts rounded up tied up within

as if we were machines that only needed to be restarted

reload

reboot

restart

circles.

we rush forwards with our heads turned backwards

of pointed forwards

we run chasing something

and once we have reached it we dash off some other direction

going back to the start

going back

some days it means putting on some music

and listening to my mind racing

tac-tac-tac

circles.

circles are hard to break.

circles connect different places and times

circles contain a lot

yet they are seen as empty at times

circles this morning contain the memories

of some really dark dream in which i tried to overcome something really hard

riding a red motorbike that broke down

but since i knew i have to rush on i just looked down at my feet and put them on the pedals

the motorbike turned into a bike and i pulled forward hardly able to make it go

then suddenly downhill

and running over s small cat, stopping, but instead of finding it dead fincing it vicious and attacking me pushing its nlaws deep into my hands

i pulled it out holding it in a cruel clench

with an immense force of anger flooding my body

as i woke i wasnt able to recall whether the cat was killed or not

circles.

a memory of a nightmare might lead you into negative circles

in which you see yourself 5years down the road

with both hands clutching the sink

and shaking of pain

rocked by the melody of 'the scientist'

the memory of the music pushes you towards your computer

and youtube

and all of a sudden you are at san lorenzo

waiting for the tram3 missing a man who maybe doesnt want you any more

and knowing that whatever you may have fucked up at the start there is no way of going back

circles.

cirlces often contain resentment

anger

devastation

helplessness.

but today

today i will stop running around

i will simply step in the middle of it all

and see it all spinning around me.

if it makes me dizzy or gets me down.

let it be.

/whoever want my afterfeeling click on the title and enter a new circle./