reflected reflections
bruises leaving a precious pattern on me
for some days
at least
then all this will be gone
this too
a sad calmness looks into my face
and she winks at me from the mirror
that face in the mirror is hiding something
less then a smile more then a teardrop
something i cannot grasp at
something
???
that may be the secureness of a survival
(a wink of the past?)
the wickedness of future lust
(a wink of the bitch?)
the pride of the educated intellectual
(a wink of unbringing?)
the strength of a battered heart
(a wink of the eternal optimist?)
hours pass and the puzzle cannot be undone
(like my body was
so many times
undone
in the hours after (t)his decision)
the past is closed. it is a new year
and i DEpart again
encolsing someone precious
in me heart
forever
/vague thougth connected to cummings. and poem of his...though it
had been truest last year...when withOUT Miele...
yet it seems
any final decision-and loss- makes me reTURN to
the source of all:
my heart.../
i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you
here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud
of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)
ee cummings
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