just like on some toher days
almost every day
(though not an everyday thing to everyone)
i have spent my day in a whirlwind of thougths
lines of poetry stuck
(never on paper)
written in my head
got stuck
(without
this love)where will i be
(stronger than i've ever been)
gotta be
positive
autosuggesting strength
and me reassuring myslef that all is okay
decisions made
(without this love)where...
but especially how?
how and especially why did i build such a castle of trust?
(we'll gonna have to be)
apart
distance
a part of me sure of herself
sure she would have survived all ...even without
(you i dont know how to be)
but an other part
wonders
if
IF is the most unnecessary and stupid item of any language's vocab.
sometimes i wonder whether we would be miuch better off if IF didnt exist
then we could just see and value what IS
surely that still couldnt be called REALITY
but
maybe
we would be more balanced if we didnt go though a million mazes of IF...
i feel like a rat enlocked in my own laboratory...
7 comments:
Maybe 'if' is unnecessary and stupid. I don't know. But. What if 'if' is the only thing we can say? We will be unnecesary and stupid too? Like our 'ifs'?
All of us want to move to the castle of trust. Or to the castle of love & trust. To be safe. Like in utero. Forever.
to pynchon:
being/acting stupid (though it is very subjective)is a part of our lives as well as feeling(if not necessarily)being unnecessary.
as for the castle of love-n-trust...i cant agree with you. i dont think a castle of love is regarded by all as a heavenly/safe place. some people become unnerved in such castles for nthe feel encaged.
more or less the same applies to trust. those whom we trust do not necessarily want to be trusted. for being trusted means a whole lot of responsibility => which may (in some) create anxiety as they worry about possible consequences.
and this all links to this:
maybe only those who have built their own castle of trust and love (and feel safe in it) can live happily in such castles created by others in various relationships.??
And what if 'all of us' means just us? You. I. Not everybody. We are on the same way?
Are we on the same way? Of course. Sorry. It was an error.
i am not on the way. im unmoving.stillness is the magic of this moment.
someone told me last week that s/he wanted to be an island...and it seems those words turned me into one.a little one.a little island surrounded by a sea of thoughts...no visitors, no tourists, at the moment there is not even a port. i first have to walk around, explore and see what is this island for:)
Give me a map, please. I wish I could find your island in the sea of thoughts.
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