body and

body.
my body feels restless.
its un-touched-ness creating a
what is it?
a storm nearing?
unslept nights?
dreams about...?

body. my body wants to reach across the table kiss, eat and satisfy itself.
i could then dress up again and walk away.

body.
my body is needing.
and i know what she wants
yet i cannot give it to her.

if i let her command:
where will i be brought?

will i not freeze in the middle of it,
call it off and then feel ridiculous?
or will i enjoy and then what?

my body is hungry dictator.
she commands me to do things against my disciplines.
my heart understands her. she knows what hunger is.
yet she knows she is not to be fed where the body is.

it is a great dilemma.
whereas it shouldnt be.

beneath it all is this:
i think my heart is a kamikaze. she is moody and so irrational.
at least my body i can understand.
but i cannt satisfy her.
i have made a promise to my heart.

i wish i was strong enough to keep it.